The Diary
by 5meters
Summary: Russia goes to belarus's room and finds her Diary and decides to read it what happens when Belarus finds out? warning human names are used. Also Rissia and Belarus POV's
1. Chapter 1

She was sitting alone in her dark bedroom. The tears were dropping on by one onto the cover of her diary; her heart was broken once again by her brother and she doesn't know how much she can take; everyday she asks him "will you marry me" and every day he has the same reply "No Belarus I am your older brother it wouldn't be right." She can't tell her sister about it, she's a double dumb with double d's. So she enters a diary entry every day to vent her feelings.

_I asked brother again if he would marry me and again he said no. Why won't he love me, I can fight, I can dance and I can love him with all my heart. I have been asking for I don't even know how many years now and he just won't. I cry myself to sleep every night and sometimes he hears me. He always asks "Hey, why are you crying" I want to yell, and scream at him and tell him, "You don't know what it's like to ask your one and only love to be with you and every day and you get turned down!" Of course I could never tell him that. Instead I simply say, "It's nothing Ivan, I was just reading some silly book again." He doesn't know how much it hurts._

I can hear her again, she's crying like always. I sit on my bed blocking out her sobs, wanting to go down the hall to her bedroom and ask what's wrong but I know she'll never be honest, she'll say it was a book and someone had died in the story, but that isn't true. I know she is crying about me, and it makes me feel awful that I have made my little sister cry as much as she does. I don't, no, can't love her the way she loves me it wouldn't be right she's my little sister and I just don't love her that way. Do I?

"That's enough crying for tonight", she thought to herself, "It's no use I bet some vodka might help me or at least numb some of the pain." With that little thought she pushed herself away from her desk and standing up to go head down to the kitchen. Just as she was about to leave her bedroom she looked back at the open diary on her desk debating whether or not to lock it up, "No one comes into my room anyway." So she left the diary laying there with the tear stained pages wide open for a wandering eye to read.

"She stopped crying" Ivan said out loud to himself, "I wonder if she cried herself to sleep again, I better go and check on her just in case."

Every night, once Belarus had stopped crying Ivan would go down the hall to check on her. Once he had woke up in the morning without checking and had found her pasted out on her bedroom floor with a bottle of vodka beside her. Of course Ivan has done this many times himself but it's not like her to, she finds other ways of venting, he doesn't know how but she does.

So Ivan pulled himself of his bed and headed out down the hall toward Belarus's room. It was unusually quiet while Ivan was walking down the hallway; he could usually hear her breathing from outside the door. He was really worried but he knocked anyway. There was no answer. He knocked again a little harder, still no answer. So, being extremely frightened for his little sisters' life he busted into the room expecting to find her dead on the floor with the vodka bottle beside her again, but she wasn't even there. All there was was her empty bed empty floor and empty, wait is that a book I see? Ivan took it upon himself to investigate this book since he knew his sister didn't like to read books she entertains herself with knives. Before he did though, he looked around the room one last time, since he didn't want to have his sister find him looking through her stuff, but everything seemed to be clear.

Being very stealthy, Ivan tip toed toward the desk with the open book on top of it. "Might as well read one line just to see what it's about" He thought to himself.

_I asked brother again if he would marry me and again he said no. Why won't he love me, I can fight, I can dance and I can love him with all my heart. I have been asking for I don't even know how many years now and he just won't._

"Oh no, this isn't a book this is her freaking diary!" Ivan put the diary down and wanted to read more of what his sister had wrote, "But that would be wrong, but I guess it would be fine if I just read one more line." So Ivan picked the diary up once again and continued on reading.

_I cry myself to sleep every night and sometimes he hears me. He always asks "Hey, why are you crying" I want to yell, and scream at him and tell him, "You don't know what it's like to ask your one and only love to be with you and every day and you get turned down!"_

"Is that really how she feels?" Ivan told himself that he should probably keep reading to find out.

_Of course I could never tell him that. Instead I simply say, "It's nothing Ivan, I was just reading some silly book again." He doesn't know how much it hurts._

Just as Ivan was grasping the fact that his sister really did truly love him he heard something from down the hall. Before he could put the diary back down, like any smart person would, he turned around and found himself face to face with a certain blonde girl with vodka in her hand.

Seeing the diary in Ivan's hand made her want to hit him, cry right there, but mostly want to yell.

"What are you doing in my room without my permission? What are you doing with my freaking journal, please tell me you didn't read it."

"I was only going to read a line but-

"You read my journal!" She ran towards Russia with the vodka in her hand ready to hit him upside the head with, but Ivan stopped her with his hand.

"What you put in your journal…..was all of that true?" he said not really knowing what to expect.

"Every word, not that it matters you wouldn't understand it."

Looking straight into her eyes Ivan said, "I do understand, I-

"No you don't! You have never loved anyone as much as I love you, and if you did you were never turned down every day of your life!" Belarus snatched her hand back out of Ivan's grip and held it up to her face to cover her eyes so he wouldn't see her tears.

"You need to listen to what I have to say Belarus or you might regret it."

"I'm not listening if you're just going to turn me down again." She said turning away to head back to the kitchen.

"I said listen to me!" Ivan said with such force that it made Belarus shiver, but she turned around to listen.

"Fine, what do you have to say?"

"Я тебя люблю."

"W-what?"

"I said that I love you Belarus."

"You mean as your sister right and that you couldn't possibly-"

"No Belarus, I love you and not as just my sister."

"Are you serious?" She said not knowing if her brother was telling the truth or just being cruel.

"Very, and I, um, wanted to"

"What is it Ivan?"

He made his way over to the bed so he could be face to face when he did this. He took her wet hands not knowing if he should do this or not, but told himself to just go for it.

"Belarus I know I have turned you down most of your life and I have made you cry so many times and I feel awful that you had to go through that."

He took a pause so he can regain he courage. Knowing what he was about to do could change his whole life.

"Belarus my little sister, will you give me the great honor of-

"Don't" She said with tears streaming down her face.

"What? I thought you have always wanted-

"I said don't, I know you are only saying this because of the diary and you don't really love me." As she said these words she couldn't believe she was saying, she took her hands back, got up off her bed and ran down the hallway.

"She can't just leave me like this" Ivan muttered to himself. He ran down the long hallway to catch up to Belarus who was just about past his bedroom.

When he caught up he grabbed her arm and turned her around.

"You are not the one who can decide whether or not I love you."

"But you don't and I know it you-

She was cut off by a kiss from her brother. This wasn't one on the head like he used to give her when she went to sleep. This was a passionate one straight on the lips.

Once he was done he said, "Do you believe me now?"

Blushing like a big red tomato Belarus stuttered, "I believe you, um, can you finish what you were saying earlier?"

"Of course, will you Belarus give me the honor of becoming your husband?"

Unable to contain herself Belarus jumped up to Russia to give him a huge hug, but did it with such force she made him fall to the ground. Both laughing Belarus muttered into her older brother scarf, "I love you so much Ivan."


	2. Chapter 2

"I love her right? Yes I do, and if I don't I can't back down now." Ivan stood at the altar talking to himself waiting for Belarus. Not even a week ago he had kissed his sister and asked her to marry him.

"You ready for this Russia?" said his best man, China.

"Yeah I think so"

China awkwardly patted Ivan's shoulder, "Once the ceremonies over you'll feel better."

"Yeah I guess you're right I-

Ivan was cut off by the sound of the piano beginning the bridal march. Looking down the aisle he saw the bride's maids; Ukraine and Liechtenstein, and then he saw her and all his worries and doubts were gone. She was wearing a long form fitted wedding dress with beading all around. She had a long veil over her face with a whit bow on top of her head like she always does. To top off she was holding his favourite flowers; sunflowers and she was finally smiling without being forced to.

"Don't screw up", Belarus thought to herself as she walked down the aisle. She couldn't believe this was actually happening to her; she had been asked by her brother to marry him. She had always dreamed of this day and it had finally come. Walking down the aisle she was thinking of how she didn't even make her brother do this, he asked her.

Smiling even bigger than she was before, she made her way up to the altar. Handing her flowers to Ukraine she intertwined her hands with Ivan.

"We are gathered here today to join Ivan and Belarus in holy matrimony…."

As the priest continued on talking Belarus noticed Ivan not looking as happy as she was so she muttered to him, "Are you okay?"

Surprised by Belarus's sudden comment Ivan whispered back, "Of course" and gave her an assuring smile so she wouldn't doubt his happiness.

The truth is Ivan was still wasn't sure if he did the right thing. Asking his sister to marry him because he thought he loves her. NO he does love her, right? "Yes of course I do, why else would I ask her to marry me" Russia assured himself.

"Do you Ivan take Belarus as your wife?"

Ivan was so in his thoughts he didn't notice the priest had said anything. Belarus noticing his silence nudged him, "Ivan?"

"Wha- oh, I'm sorry what?"

"Will you Ivan take Belarus to be your wife?" said the annoyed priest.

"Yes I do" Ivan said making sure his tone was believable, but Belarus could see straight through it.

"And do you Belarus take Ivan to be your husband?"

"I, I do" She said with a not so assuring tone in her voice, but no one noticed.

"I now pronounce you to be husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Just before Ivan leaned in to kiss her she caught a glimpse of his eyes and knew he wasn't happy with this. As they kissed everyone cheered because the awkward wedding no one wanted to attend was over. The only one not cheering was Ukraine because she knew by the way the two of her younger siblings had been acting and looking at each other, neither one was okay with this.

Ivan picked up Belarus bridal style and carried her down the aisle followed by roars of applause that this was finally over. They drove away in a black limo that was headed to the airport.

The whole ride was awkward and silent, besides the occasional asking to pass the vodka this way.

When they arrived to the airport Belarus went to the bathroom to change out of her dress, leaving Ivan all alone with their bags sitting away from everyone else in the airport.

"I can't believe I said yes to this, I don't love her, I just wanted her to feel happy for once." Ivan said this to himself not knowing his 'wife' was just around the corner listening in.

"Ivan I'm ready let's go to the plane now, okay?" She said very cheerfully.

"Alright let me get the bags."

He got their bags and walked down toward the loading arch with her basically skipping beside him. "Not even 2 hours ago she had seemed to be unsure, what had made her so cheerful?" Ivan thought to himself as he gave their bags to the attendants.

"Can I have a window seat Ivan?"

"Sure whatever you want" Ivan said with a smile on his face.

All through the plane ride to Moscow, Belarus talked to Ivan nonstop. Ivan was starting to believe this marriage might actually work out. When the two of them made their way off the plane Belarus latched herself onto Ivan's arm as he got their bags.

"I can't wait to get to your house, I haven't been to it in a long time you always came to Ukraine's house with me."

Becoming happier by the minute Ivan said, "Well I had some things changed such as my room so you could feel more comfortable."

"You're so sweet Ivan", Belarus said while hugging him.

Ivan led her to the car, and opened the door for her.

"Why thank you kind sir", she said laughing through her words.

"You're welcome kind lady."

Ivan slid into the driver's seat and drove to his house an hour away. Once again Belarus talked and talked, they laughed the whole way to his house.

As he drove up the driveway he said, "We're here Bella."

"It's so much bigger than I remember", Belarus said with amazement in her voice.

Ivan just laughed at her child like comment. He took their bags to the front door and faced her. He took her hands and said, "This is now all yours."

"I know and I get to share it with you", Belarus said with a huge smile on her face.

The rest of the night they played card games and laughed with each other. They ate together looking into each other telling each other how much they loved the other. When it time came to go to bed Belarus told Russia, "Just for tonight would you mind if I stayed in the guest room, just to let it all sink in?"

Ivan surprised she wouldn't want to be in the same bed as him agreed to her request.

I asked to sleep in the other room not because I needed to let the day sink in, but because of what she heard Ivan say when they were waiting for the plane. She sat on the bed thinking of what he had said about not really loving her, but he had just said he loved her so many times tonight, does that mean he was lying? Ivan wouldn't lie to her, especially about something like this, would he? She fell asleep with these questions running through her head.

Ivan awoke around 8:00am; he decided to surprise his new wife with breakfast in bed. He made his way to the kitchen to make blueberry pancakes; her favourite. He had made each one in a heart shape just to see her reaction.

"They are now perfect", He said while places a flower on the tray.

Heading upstairs to her room he was thinking of all the things he could say to her to make her feel like his special someone. When he had finally got the right sentence in his head he entered her bedroom.

"Good morning Bella time to get up I-

She wasn't there. He put the tray down and made his way around the bedroom just in case she had fallen out of bed or something. She still was nowhere to be found. He got all the maids to look for her, "She might have just got up for a walk", he thought to himself.

As the maids searched for Belarus Ivan looked around the room. She hadn't done much, just put down her bags and went to bed it seemed, and then Ivan noticed a piece of paper on her bedside table. He picked it up, unfolded it and it had her handwriting on it so he read.

_Brother the last day was the best I have ever had; I thank you for all you've done and all I had to put you through. I heard you at the airport that you just wanted me to be happy, you have made me very happy in the past hours but I now relieve you of having to be my husband. By the time you read this I will have already made it to double d's house._

_Love, _

_Belarus _

Ivan sat on that bed for hours rereading that small note his sister had left him. "How could she be so foolish, of course I love her I would not lie to her?" He said aloud to himself, "She did hear you say you didn't love her." Ivan's conscious was getting through, "Anyone would think you didn't love them if you yourself said it out loud." Ivan couldn't disagree to this so he got up and went downstairs.

"Everyone you can stop looking for Belarus" Ivan told the staff

"You found her sir?" said a very concerned maid

"No I have not but I know where she is and I will go and get her."

"Oh alright sir I'll get the car ready."

Russia rushed into the car and sped down the highway all the way to the airport. Looking at the time board he had 10 minutes to get onto the next plane to Ukraine.

"Excuse me I need to get a ticket for the next plane to Ukraine" Ivan told a very tired plane attendant.

"Sorry all sold out" she said very bluntly

"No you don't understand I need to get on that plane my wife ra-

"I said we don't have any more tickets unless you are of some importance please leave sir."

Just about to give up Ivan remembered that he was Russia, "Well I am Russia so would that count as important?"

"I'm so sorry sir here you are", she handed Ivan one ticket straight to Kiev.

During the plane ride Ivan thought of all the things he could say to her to make her believe he loved her. After an hour of thinking he had found the perfect words and thought them over in his head, "Bella I'm sorry that I ever made you think I don't love you, it had gone by so fast I was just scared. I do love you and you have to believe it, I love the way you can fight, dance and the way you love with all your heart. I'm so lucky to have you as my wife, I love you, and will you please come back?"

Yes this was perfect now all he has to do is get Belarus to listen to him.


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as the plane landed and everyone was allowed to get off, Ivan took his bags and ran as fast as he could. He hailed a taxi cab on the side of the street.

"Take me to the capital house as fast as you can!" He shouted very loudly at the cab driver.

"Okay buddy no need to shout, what's got you in such a hurry?"

"I have to find my wife and apologize."

"Ah, wife problems I got a lot of those."

After that, the ride was silent. When the man pulled up to the building Ivan handed him $50.00 not caring about how much he needed back and ran out of the cab forgetting his bags. He ran up the steps and knocked as hard as he could. Ivan shouted at the door, "Ukraine let me in now!"

A maid came to the door and opened it a crack, "Mister Russia, sir, Ukraine says you should just leave and-

Ivan had no time for this so he opened the door and pushed the maid out of the way.

"Sir, she said she didn't want to see you!" said the maid from the floor

Ivan did not care if she didn't want to see him, he wants to see her!

"Listen I don't care about what she said, I need to see her right now!" with that he went upstairs to her bedroom since he knew this house like the back of his hand it took him no time at all. When he reached the door of Belarus's room he wanted to burst right in, but was stopped when he hear, voices? Crying? He decided he should hide under the table that was beside the door so he could listen in without being noticed.

"I told you Ukraine, he was talking to himself and said that he didn't love me"

"You could have heard him wrong he could have-

"NO! He said he just wanted to see me happy, and he did make me happy, but I can't possibly make him stay married to me if he doesn't love me."

"If you had said that a month ago I wouldn't have believed you but now, I think you've began to understand your feelings for our brother."

"I wish he loved me the way I loved him." At the end of her sentence she started to bawl her eyes out.

"Ukraine I want to be left alone I don't want you to see me like this."

"Alright I'll be downstairs if you need me."

"Oh no Ukraine's coming" Ivan thought to himself.

He moved into a tiny ball so she wouldn't see him. As the door handle turned he tightened himself even more into his ball form. Luckily Ukraine walked out of the door; she went down the hall the opposite way Russia was. When Ivan could no longer hear her footsteps and was sure she was out of earshot he got out from underneath the table and went to knock on the door.

He knocked three times waiting for her answer.

"I thought I told you to leave me alone Ukraine!" Belarus shouted from inside the bedroom.

"I'm, um, not Ukraine Belarus" Ivan said in reply while opening the door.

"I-Ivan why are you here?" he could hear the hurt and rage in her voice, "I don't want you here! I thought I told that maid to keep you away!"

"I pushed her out of the way so I could see you and-"

"I do NOT want you here Ivan, you broke my heart and I don't want to talk about it."

"But Belarus I-"

She had tears running down her face as she choked out the words, "Just go away Ivan", she pushed him out of her bedroom and slammed the door shut.

Ivan stood outside her door, not really knowing what to do. He had just been kicked out of her bedroom; she has never done anything that would block out Ivan from her life, ever. He stood on the other side of her door for a minute or two before deciding on what to do.

"Belarus", he said with his head leaning on the door frame, "Why won't you just let me talk it out with you?

She opened the door with as much force as she could, expecting him to be leaning on it.

"Because Ivan, there is nothing to talk about. You yourself said you did not love me and you just wanted to make me happy" She chocked back her tears, "You did make me happy, for that one night. Now you don't have to be married to me anymore."

She threw her ring straight at his chest and walked back into her bedroom and plopped down on her bed. She had thought she made herself very clear that she didn't want him there. She had, but Ivan wouldn't listen.

Ivan followed her inside her bedroom and shut the door. He made his way to her and took her hands.

"Belarus why do you think I said what I said?"

Trying to keep herself from bawling her eyes out in front of him she replied, "Because you….I don't know! Because you don't love me and didn't want to hurt me, or felt pity or-"

"No" Ivan cut her off, "I said those words because I was scared, scared of what my life would be like with you. I had always loved you, as my sister, I had, once in awhile, thought differently but never let myself think for too long about it. When I read what you had written about me it made my heart swell, it made me realize my feelings for you."

"B-But that still doesn't explain why you would say you didn't love me" Belarus said waiting for the dreadful response she knew was coming.

"I thought I didn't love you, because all you have ever done was chase me done with your knives and ask me to marry you which was actually very frightening." He said with a little chuckle, "I never got to see the real you, but when we arrived to my house you showed me who you really are and you turned out not to be the psychopath I thought you were going to be" Ivan smiles at his own remark.

"What I am trying to say Belarus is that I do truly love you."

"I don't believe you" she said very bluntly

"What? How am I supposed to prove I do?"

"I don't know Ivan; you seem to be a smart man why don't you figure that out by yourself?"

"Hmmm well I have an idea but I don't think you'll like it" Ivan said being playful

"What is it Ivan, tell me."

"I'd rather show you"

"Wha-"

Ivan cut her off by pushing her down onto the bed kneeling on top of her. Belarus didn't know what to do.

"I-Ivan what are you doing?"

"I am showing you I love you." He kissed her on lips as he had done before but longer and with more passion.

"Do you believe me now?" Ivan said softly into her ear.

"Y-Yes" said the beat red Belarus.

"Good" He continued to kiss her and please her all through that night.

In the end Belarus came back to Ivan's house as his wife and they had many 'playful' nights together as husband and wife.


End file.
